The “Happiest Place on Earth” was a welcome respite during the war in Ukraine. Nataliya and I had originally planned to go to Disney World back in 2020, but the trip was delayed until earlier this year (April 2022). However, Nataliya especially needed a chance to recuperate after enduring the first six weeks of Russia’s invasion of her homeland, Ukraine (the war has lasted 6 months as of publication). In fact, the day before we left, we had helped bake hundreds of pierogis that would be served at the initial Ukrainian Food Festival. Plus, I had also been laid off shortly before we departed, although I quickly found a new job after returning home.

Day 1 – Hollywood Studios & Galaxy’s Edge

Our flight landed in Orlando at 11:30 a.m., and we hoped we could make it our first destination, Hollywood Studios, by about 1 p.m. That proved to be hopelessly optimistic! We had rented a car through the Nu rental agency, which was located a short distance from the airport. But we didn’t expect a long delay since they supposedly offered “regular” shuttle service. Instead, we ended up waiting more than an hour and ultimately took an $20 Uber ride instead! Not once, but TWICE the bus stopped but refused to pick us up because the van was full. The passengers offered to make room for us, but the driver still refused to let us on. Then, the driver had the gall to call us impatient because we started to complain about being left behind yet again! With nearly 2,500 reviews on Google, the 2.3/5 rating is well deserved! I strongly advise against using Nu rentals, especially if you’re in a hurry! Out of desperation, I ordered an Uber, but then we spent another 20 minutes wandering around trying to find the pickup spot. The driver was extremely patient and helpful, so I gave him a 50% tip out of gratitude.

We finally arrived at Hollywood Studios at 3 p.m. which was two hours later than our expectation. I fondly remember Hollywood Studios from my first visit some 30 years ago. Rather than heading straight to Galaxy’s Edge, as one might have expected me to do, the Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular (debuted 1989) was our first stop since we arrived late in the afternoon and only one performance remained. I remembered the show fondly from my childhood and was not disappointed! I had a grin from ear to ear as I watched Indiana and Marion recreate exciting scenes from the movie. Not much had changed in 30 years, excepted the Nazi swastikas had been replaced. The iconic escape from the giant rolling boulder and the exciting battle at the Nazi airbase were my favorite parts. With a runtime of 25 minutes, the show was well worth the very brief wait (due to our Lightning Lane access). I was already starting to feel like a kid again!

Before hustling over to Galaxy’s Edge, we made one final side-trip down nostalgia lane to the updated Star Tours ride (debuted 1987). While the Indiana Jones stunt show had been mostly unchanged for 30 years, Star Tours had undergone a complete overhaul in 2011. However, the entrance and experience while waiting in line still included R2-D2 and C-3PO who I fondly remembered. On the other hand, the actual ride experience was completely different with an entirely new story line and modern 3-D technology. At less than 5 minutes, the ride was extremely fast paced but well worth it due to the short line. I left feeling a little queasy but that’s not surprising, since it doesn’t take much to make me start feeling motion sick.

Finally, we raced over to Galaxy’s Edge where we were not disappointed! We headed straight to the Millennium Falcon: Smuggler’s Run (debuted 2019) ride which turned out to be my favorite attraction from the whole trip. The life-size Millennium Falcon outside really set the tone, and the interior was completely convincing! I felt like I was really aboard the iconic ship. I definitely wanted to be a pilot as opposed to a gunner or mechanic. Six people can ride together (2 for each crew position), and fortunately the other participants were a single mom and her two very young children who were content to be engineers.

Giddy with anticipation, I settled into one of the pilot’s seats with Alex, Nataliya’s son, as my co-pilot. The controls were somewhat awkward with Alex only controlling the left/right maneuvers, and I could only maneuver up/down so it took us a while to start working together effectively. In addition, the music and sound effects were very loud which made it difficult for us to communicate and coordinate. Nevertheless, we managed to complete our mission without turning the beloved Falcon into a wreck! Nataliya, Alex, and I had taken several trips together before, but this made me feel like we were really becoming a family, even though Alex is only a lukewarm Star Wars fan. Nevertheless, I still felt it was a turning point, even if Alex didn’t notice. Although the ride amounted to little more than a giant video arcade game, it resonated with me more than Rise of the Resistance (Day 3). The experience can also be different each time depending on how well you perform, and a near disaster might leave the trusty Falcon clanking and sparking as you exit. This was a life-long dream come true! Although Alex is 13 years old, I felt like a little kid again!

By this point, it was late in the day, so we ordered a carry-out dinner from Docking Bay 7. This was a very convenient feature from the Genie app, in addition to the Lightning Lane option which lets you skip long lines. Nataliya and I had the smoked Kaadu pork ribs which were delicious, although I swapped out rice and broccoli for the corn muffin and cabbage slaw. It was tasty although a little too spicy for Nataliya’s taste. Alex had the fried Endorian yip-tip (fried chicken) with mac and cheese. Alex, a notoriously picky eater, hardly touched the fried chicken, which came in two large cubes, but still raves to this day about the mac and cheese. That says a lot coming from a mac and cheese connoisseur like Alex! We had Outpost puffs for dessert which were also pretty tasty although Nataliya and I easily shared one. We ate in the small courtyard outside, and, although Nataliya complained about the incessant Star Wars-inspired muzak, I quite enjoyed it. The food was a little pricey, but the portions were large.

After dinner, we briefly explored the rest of Galaxy’s Edge since it had been a long day of traveling. Perhaps most surprising of all, we managed to wander through the Black Spire market without spending any more credits. I had considered making a reservation at the droid depot or lightsaber workshop but felt I couldn’t really justify $100 for a droid or $200 for a lightsaber. Although we had been there for about 4 hours (instead of 6 like we hoped), we got to see most of what we wanted to see, but I came back later in the week for the “piece de resistance” (pun intended).

Day 2 – Cocoa Beach

We had planned to mix in a couple “off” days to recuperate from the theme parks, so we spent the second day at Cocoa Beach (about an hour from our off-site hotel). We got a late start before heading out. We had considered visiting the Kennedy Space Center too but decided to just lounge on the beach all afternoon. I’m not much of a beach bum, but the beaches were nice, and I did enjoy relaxing (except when Alex, who is not a strong swimmer, defiantly insisted on swimming too far out into the waves)! We had dinner at the Boardwalk Bar on the Cocoa Beach Pier and grabbed dessert from Coney Island Hot Dogs. The pier offers a great view of the beach and the ocean. It was definitely a good idea to take a break from the parks, and I very felt refreshed.

Day 3 – Epcot & Galaxy’s Edge Redux

We started our third day at EPCOT which was fun but not really a highlight for me. There were some interesting displays and lots of neat architectural exhibits, but I wasn’t impressed since I prefer to visit Paris itself (not a copy). We did have a tasty pretzel sandwich with cheese and ham. However, Alex started to get a little tired and grouchy at lunch (frankly I was surprised he coped so well for as long as he did). After lunch, we split up: Nataliya and Alex went to the Animal Kingdom, and I went back to Galaxy’s Edge. Then we planned to meet back up at the nightly fireworks show at EPCOT.

I expected to spend the majority of the afternoon waiting in line for the Rise of Resistance ride (debuted 2019), and my estimate was spot-on. As I walked up to the queue, I learned the ride was out of commission, so I spent 30 minutes exploring parts of the Black Spire outpost that I had only seen at a passing glance previously. I was lucky enough to see some of First Order stormtroopers patrol. After the queue began moving again, I got back in line for Rise of the Resistance. I’m not really a fan of the new sequel trilogy, but the ride seemed to be very popular, and I thought I should give it a try since I had free time.

I had tried to plan ahead for a long wait by bringing a portable battery to recharge my phone, but I didn’t bring the right adapter with me. So instead of listening to a Star Wars audiobook, I ended up waiting aimlessly for more than 3 hours. Thankfully, most of the queue was shaded, but there weren’t any bathrooms along the way. I suggest you plan very strategically – avoid drinking lots of water beforehand, otherwise you’ll have to go all the way back out and hope your former neighbors will let you reclaim your spot in line! My neighbors frequently complained about people barging their way through the line in an apparent attempt to do just that. There were some interesting displays of various Star Wars equipment and blasters as we slowly inched through underground tunnels, but you definitely need to be prepared for a long wait and bring some books or other entertainment with you (especially if you have small children). The ride broke down once while I was in line, and apparently the ride suffers at least 3 mechanical faults every day!

Eventually, we reached an underground briefing room where a holographic image of Rey gave us a mission. We then boarded a small shuttle which launched and was immediately ambushed by the First Order. We were captured and brought aboard a First Order star destroyer, which, much to my disappointment, contained yet another queue (just when we thought we were done with all that)! There were several cast members dressed as First Order officers who “interrogated” some of the “prisoners” while we waited to be assigned to a detention cell. That was a neat touch and really created a sense of immersion. Then, we waited inside the prison for awhile until we heard some faint voices and suspicious noises.

Lucky for me, I was standing right next to the spot were a door suddenly slid open as Resistance agents appeared to “rescue” us. They ushered us onto to droid-controlled carts which we rode as we raced throughout the star destroyer. The experience was more of a special effects extravaganza as opposed to a true thriller ride with lots of stormtroopers shooting at us and Kylo Ren pursing us. There was one short swift lift upward that provided a brief rush and a corresponding sharp drop at the end, but otherwise we zipped across mostly level ground. Occasionally we swerved or spun around, but the emphasis was on all the visual and sound effects. It was definitely the closest experience you can find to actually being in a Star Wars movie, but the ride itself lasted less than 5 minutes. RFID technology allows the carts to navigate without using tracks. Other features include audio-animatronic figures and motion simulators – with thousands riding Rise of the Resistance each day, it’s no wonder such a complex system breaks down every couple of hours!

Disney claims the ride lasts an average of 18 minutes, but that misleadingly includes the preliminary briefing and brief introduction on the shuttle (before the final queue). Again, I’m not a huge fan of the sequel trilogy so it might be a higher priority if you’re more interested in the new canon. Otherwise, I’d say its your judgement if you think it’s worth a 3+ hour wait during peak hours. I ended up waiting about 3.5 hours and the ride broke down a third time right after I exited. The wait times can be a mere 2 hours later in the evening, or you can try to purchase special Lighting Lane access for an additional $15 (not included in the regular Lightning Lane price). However, there’s a daily quota of special Lightning Lane slots for Rise of the Resistance which usually sell out as soon as the park opens so don’t count on that option. Otherwise, be prepared to settle in for a long haul!

By the time I escaped from the clutches of Kylo Ren, I was pretty hungry, so I ordered another carry-out dinner from Docking Bay 7. This time I picked the Batuuan beef stir fry, which was also pretty good, although the meat came in two huge cubes again.

My misadventures weren’t over yet! By this point, my cellphone was almost out of power, so I wasn’t able to call or text Nataliya to coordinate our rendezvous at the fireworks. I searched for a charging station but ended up having to buy another portable battery for $30 from a special Disney-approved vending machine. I thought it was better to be safe than sorry since the sun had already set, and I was not at all confident of my ability to find Nataliya and Alex in a large nighttime crowd at the fireworks display. Of course, I literally bumped into Nataliya as soon as I stepped out of the shop that sold the chargers.

The fireworks display was pretty impressive with synchronized music and lights. Afterwards, we trudged back out to our car (we didn’t pay extra for $25 for a closer spot), and we slept very soundly after walking all day. This was our last day at Disney, but we covered most of what we wanted to see since we paid extra for park hopper tickets. Splitting up on the second day was also a good idea.

Disney World is much more complicated than when I had last visited some 30 years ago. All the new technology is intended to make things easier, but it was pretty confusing even though I consider myself a reasonably intelligent person. The Genie app tries to create a personalized itinerary, but we found that to be pretty useless. On the other hand, the ability to pre-order carry-out meals was very useful. The additional $15 per day for the Genie+ service was definitely worth it, and we used it to book Lightning Lane privileges for several attractions which made it much easier for us to squeeze in the maximum amount of fun on our first day at Disney (which was limited by our late arrival). But Lightning Lane doesn’t include every attraction and some, such as Rise of the Resistance, require a separate Lightning Lane pass for an additional fee (another $15). Maybe you’re starting to see what I mean about the technological complexity? You even need to make “reservations” for specific parks on specific days after you buy your tickets, which is a relatively new change introduced in 2020 after the pandemic.

However, I was somewhat disappointed that we didn’t get the chance to experience the Star Wars virtual reality game at the Disney Springs shopping center in the resort area. It looked like a lot of fun, but unfortunately the business collapsed during the pandemic and didn’t reopen. However, there were reports earlier this year that the firm might relaunch, and I would love to try it!

Overall, I had a great time at Disney, and I wouldn’t mind going back again – especially for a few more flights on the Millennium Falcon! However, even if we do go back, I don’t think I’ll sign up for the Star Wars Galactic Starcruiser experience. I might be interested if the price were considerably lower, but at $1,200 per person per night that’s $4,800 for two people since it’s a 2-night itinerary. It’s an immersive experience on a Halcyon starcruiser, with some fun activities including sabaac lessons (gambling), lightsaber training, and flight crew training. The food on the menu looks like it could have come right out of the Mos Eisley cantina, and Disney cast members act out adventures onboard the ship. But so far, reviews are mixed, and with more than 160 reviews on Google the Galactic starcruiser only scores an average of 3.8/5. People have complained about trying to complete the app-based activities and the small size of the rooms. But I’ll give it a try if we ever win the lottery!

This might sound odd, but I was annoyed that tipping ISN’T allowed at Disney or Universal, except for certain resort positions in hotels or sit-down restaurants. Disney and Universal raised the minimum wage to $15 in 2021, but Orlando still faces a housing affordability crisis and a lack of public transportation. I should have the option to tip the cast members selling drinks or ice cream on a hot day, or the Stormtroopers who are stuck in unbearably uncomfortable outfits in the blazing sun! But if did try to tip them, they might be fired. To assuage my guilt after returning home, I donated to a food bank that specifically serves Disney cast members in need. It’s ridiculous that I’m not allowed to tip when cast members still struggle to make ends meet in an expensive city like Orlando.

Day 4 – Boggy Creek Airboat Adventures

We took another day off from the parks and slept in before heading about 45 minutes south to Boggy Creek Airboat Adventures on Lake Tohopekaliga (the name means “we will gather here” in Seminole) near Kissimmee. We had a small discount from a brochure and booked 30-minute tours for about $30 each. Boggy Creek also offers hour-long tours, as well as sunset and evening options. You can pay a little extra to add on a few other activities offered at Boggy Creek, such as sifting for fossils and gems at the “mine” or feeding the alligators at the gator pen. Boggy Creek also offers a small BBQ restaurant and a recreation of a “village” of the local Jororo tribe. However, the website refers to the Jororo as a “primitive” people which is condescending and misleading.

Nevertheless, we enjoyed our 30-minute airboat tour despite a delay due to a technical problem. Our pilot was very knowledgeable and showed us a couple of alligator nests. It turns out we went at just the right time, because our pilot said the alligators would soon start to abandon their nests and be much harder to locate. Our pilot said he got to know the alligators individually since he visited them so often. It was a wonderfully relaxing trip out on the lake which, aside from the giant airboat fan, was very quiet and calm compared to the blaring noises and crowds of Disney. We also saw a few birds including a wood stork.

Day 5 – Universal Studios & Hogwarts

Nataliya loves Harry Potter so we couldn’t leave Orlando without visiting Universal Studio’s Wizarding World! Our first stop was the Men in Black: Alien Attack ride (debuted in 2000). I had enjoyed the first movie when it came out and the ride was pretty entertaining! The line was long but moved pretty quickly, and there were several interesting displays to distract us while we waited, including various video messages from Chief Zed and weapons exhibits. It was definitely one of the best in-line experiences we had at any park.

All three of us managed arranged to sit together, so we strapped ourselves into our cart and started with a training session. Quickly though, we were dispatched to blast numerous invading aliens who swarmed over New York City. Some of them were pretty small targets, and aliens also suddenly appeared out of nowhere! A surprise twist in the middle of the ride had us battling another cart full of riders before we used our secret weapon to defeat a huge animatronic alien in the dramatic finale! I scored “cosmically average” which I felt was a good accomplishment for a rookie. There are several different endings depending on how well you and your partners score, but I don’t think our team made the cut to be MIB unfortunately!

Next, we visited E.T. Adventure (debuted 1991) which is based on the beloved movie from my childhood! First, we received our “interplanetary passports” (a laminated card with a barcode that corresponds to each rider’s first name) and sat down on our bicycle seats which was a unique change. The bikes are attached to a platform that is suspended beneath an overhead rail.

The ride starts with the dramatic escape at the end of the movie as we flew over police cars and NASA officials. Then, we were transported to E.T.’s home world, the Green Planet, where we helped him restore the environment. At the end of the ride, E.T. thanked us all by name (using the barcode passports). Built in 1991,  the ride was refurbished in 2017. It’s a charming and nostalgic experience as opposed to thrilling.

For our next ride, we picked Skull Island: Reign of Kong (debuted 2016). I’ve never seen the movie, but the ride was pretty fun and features 3D graphics. The wait was only about 30 or 40 minutes. We grabbed our 3D glasses as we boarded our trucks which are “driven” by animatronic figures. There are several different driver personas so you can have slightly different experiences on each ride.

The truck was attacked by various bat-like monsters and dinosaurs as we tried to rescue an explorer that was kidnapped by the creatures. One of the most memorable moments for me was when a dinosaur splashed into a pool of water and real water droplets were sprayed into the truck! It was a pretty neat effect that was very realistic. Suddenly, Kong interrupted the attack and began fighting the vicious dinosaurs! Unfortunately, the truck was knocked off the road, and we took a frightening tumble over the cliffside before Kong saved us again.

Alex loves rollercoasters and took a ride on the Velocicoaster (debuted 2021) while Nataliya and I opted for a break. Although it’s one of the newest attractions in the park, the wait was less than an hour. The ride features top speeds of 70 mph and a zero-g stall zone. The sharpest drop is 140 feet – definitely not for the faint of heart! Alex seemed a little disappointed with the ride and said the seat was very uncomfortable.

Next, we stopped at Poseidon’s Fury (debuted 1999) which is a special effects show set in the Temple of Poseidon (the Greek god of the sea). Alex loves ancient mythology and I love Indiana Jones adventures, so we thought it might be fun. But in the end, it was probably the least impressive attraction we experienced at Universal Studios. The line was very short which was one positive aspect of the experience, so we didn’t have to wait inside the poorly lit, damp tunnels too long. A barrage of special effects was unleashed as we were guided through the temple, including fireballs, swirling whirlpools, and laser blasts. It wasn’t necessarily a bad experience, but it just didn’t compare to the other attractions in the park. Afterwards, we stopped for a snack at the nearby Desert Kebab House, which features a Mediterranean inspired menu with pork, chicken, beef, and vegan options. However, Alex is a very picky eater and vehemently avoids anything with even a hint of flavor, so the grill gave us one chicken kebab without any sauce for Alex. He eventually ate it since we were all pretty hungry by then. But the kebabs had a delicious North African chermoula sauce which had a lot of flavor but wasn’t too spicy.

After taking a break to digest and recuperate, we caught the last performance of the Jason Bourne Stuntacular (debuted 2017). I loved the movies, so I was looking forward to it and was not disappointed! The line moved very quickly, and the lobby included exhibits of authentic movie props such as the iconic red Mini Cooper from the original “Bourne Identity” film. The spectacular includes both live action stunts and computer-generated graphics that blend together almost seamlessly on the screens that are 130 feet wide and 28 feet tall! In 20 minutes, Bourne is chased through numerous exotic locations, including Tangiers, Morocco, and Dubai, in the United Arab Emirates. This high-tech production makes it really feel like Bourne is racing across the stage in a motorcycle while police cars chase him. Compared to the Indiana Jones stunt show, Jason Bourne came in a very close second. Indiana Jones has a special place in my childhood, and I prefer the traditional stunt methods as opposed to relying on CGI (as impressive as it may be).

By now, it was starting to get dark, and we grabbed a couple sweet treats before the seasonal Mardi Gras parade started. Since I’m a Francophile, I couldn’t afford to pass up an opportunity to try the giant crepes. We picked the lemon blueberry but had to wait at least 15 minutes since the line was pretty long. They also offer strawberry hazelnut and cookies & cream varieties, as well as several savory options (including vegan).  The crepe was overloaded with lemon mascarpone, blueberries, lemon curd, whipped cream, lemon poundcake, AND powered sugar! It was too much for one person, but I shared it with Nataliya.

Although we were visiting in mid-April, Universal Studios stretches their Mardi Gras celebration out almost until the end of the month (which slightly irked me since it was about two months overdue). However, it was a lot of fun since I’ve never been to the real celebration! You can actually ride one of the floats by either buying an annual pass or waiting in line. There were dozens of garish, gaudy floats with traditional Mardi Gras themes, as well as novel ideas including rockets, volcanoes, and industry. There were lots of dancers and stilt walkers, and Alex and I both caught lots of beads! Nataliya said it was her favorite moment from the trip as she watched us run and jump around trying to catch more. Indeed, it was another moment where we felt very familial. As the music died down and the clouds of confetti settled on the ground, we took another break. The parade also generates a tremendous amount of trash each night, between the confetti and beads, on top of all the regular debris!

Although the sun had set by this point, Alex insisted on riding another rollercoaster before we left, and he picked the Rip Ride Rockit (debuted 2009). It features a vertical climb and a near vertical drop from nearly 170 feet. The coaster also has a rock and roll theme so riders can pick a song to listen to during the ride (there’s also a “secret” track listing you can unlock as well). However, Alex said he couldn’t figure out the controls. I hate rollercoasters and just looking at Rip Ride Rockit made me feel nervous, so I looked the other way until Alex came back. He insisted the ride wasn’t as bad as it looked, even though it reaches speeds of up to 65 mph!

Afterwards, we finally boarded the Hogwarts Express (debuted 2014) and headed towards Hogsmeade! I read a few of the Harry Potter books, but Nataliya is the real fan. We eventually hopped aboard the iconic Hogwarts Express (after twice being turned away by a 45+ minute wait) which was more entertaining than thrilling; however, it was an excellent technical showcase. The express is also a convenient way of traveling around the park as well, but you could find yourself waiting awhile for a seat. It began to rain so we put on our ponchos and caught the very end of the nightly light show at Hogwarts Castle. The light show was pretty impressive, but I think I preferred the Disney show. Afterwards, we trudged through the rain all the way back to our car. Given the mass exodus, I thought we might be stuck in traffic for a while, but it actually flowed very smoothly.

Overall, I enjoyed Universal Studios although it was much louder and more energetic than Disney. Universal felt more like an amusement park environment with rollercoasters and loud music. The Bourne Stuntacular was my favorite part, but nothing can really compete with Galaxy’s Edge! However, Universal Studios definitely offers more thrilling rides and is a fun alternative if you’re burned out spending all day every day at Disney! I think our itinerary worked out perfectly since we took time off to recuperate in between parks.