After a weekend of wet weather, things finally dried out on my last day at Red River Gorge in October. I went down for a long weekend with Nataliya and her 11-year old son Alex. Since I have a lot of vacation time to use before the end of the year, I stayed an extra day by myself which made all the difference.

We drove down to the Red River Gorge Cabin resort on Saturday and checked in to our cottage at Hideaway Ridge. I planned ahead and downloaded the maps of the area ahead of time so I could use them offline. Previous experience had taught me that we might have only very weak cell service, if any at all. That let me drive right to the cabin. However, Nataliya was not so lucky. Her older GPS unit only took her to the main entrance, and then it didn’t track anything beyond that. I tried to talk her through the navigation, but the road forked several times and our cell signal was very weak. Eventually, we decided it would just be easier if we met at the main gate and then Nataliya could follow me to the cabin.

We eventually arrived and settled in. Alex was immediately attracted to the guitar hanging on the wall, even though he doesn’t play any instruments. Regardless, he picked it up and started strumming a few chords. Alex periodically gave us little impromptu performances over the next several days since we were indoors a lot. The cabin had two bedrooms and two bathrooms; however, the most important feature for Nataliya was the hot tub! The cabin had lots of large windows that let in a lot of light. Be sure to book well in advance!

I picked up pizza from Miguel’s, a prime destination for hikers, which was very busy despite the wet weather. Afterwards, Nataliya and I got to relax in the hot tub before cooking some smores. By the end of the weekend, I was rather bored with the traditional smores, so I decided to use some strawberry and cinnamon churros flavored marshmallows when we returned to Cincinnati. They are a great way to try something a little different, albeit a little pricey at $4 per bag. Alex likes his marshmallows charred while I prefer mine lightly toasted.

Unfortunately, the weather was pretty wet on Sunday, so we didn’t do any hiking. Alex loves snakes and reptiles, so we went to the Kentucky Reptile Zoo near Natural Bridge. The zoo has more than 75 species of snakes, turtles, lizards and alligators. Most of the exhibits were indoors, but there are several small outdoor exhibits too. It was probably the highlight of the trip for Alex, who declared the snakes were “cute,” much to Nataliya’s dismay. Alex has been begging for a pet snake ever since, although Nataliya is trying to negotiate down to a turtle or guinea pig!

Due to COVID-19, the zoo had suspended its usual daily programming, which tyipcally includes venom extraction demonstrations. Only a few people were allowed in at a time, but I was still very reluctant to enter. Ultimately, I went into the zoo but did not go into any of the buildings out of an abundance of caution since I am high risk for COVID-19. In fact, the zoo is rather dilapidated and is not that large. However, the staff is very knowledgeable, and the price was not unreasonable ($11.50 for adults and $7.50 for kids).

After that short excursion, we went back to the cabin for another night of relaxing in the hot-tub and making smores. Alex has also become an avid fan of the classic Monopoly board game, and I brought along a Star Wars themed version. I think Alex enjoyed playing something new although nobody actually won (as is usually the case). Alex still had a lot of pent-up energy afterwards. But he quickly wore himself out by re-enacting scenes from Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace while we watched the DVD later that evening.

Monday was the last day for Nataliya and Alex before they went home, and we were finally able to get out and do a little hiking. I had been to Natural Bridge about 10 years ago, so I was happy to return. We rode up in the skylift even though I am afraid of heights. I took an anti-anxiety pill beforehand, but it didn’t help as much as I had hoped. In addition, the chair behind me had a couple of male teenagers who loudly discussed potential mechanical failures until we reached the summit. Nataliya and Alex rode in the chair ahead of me, so I was by myself. I concentrated on the colorful leaves, and the massive rock formation that loomed in front of me in the morning mist. Although the skylift slowed several times, thankfully we didn’t stop. Being suspended over what felt like any abyss would have been much more unpleasant.

Eventually, we reached the top, and I was much relieved to be back on solid ground. Alex had promised to avoid the edge of the Natural Bridge after Nataliya had begged him beforehand. However, he immediately forgot his promise upon reaching the summit. A band of carefree teenagers also sat on the edge which did not set a good example for Alex either. Without a hint of fear, Alex ran right up the very edge and remarked about how high up we were. Eventually, Nataliya coaxed Alex back from the edge, and we walked to the other end of the bridge. I did not linger to take any photos from the top, which is much less interesting than being underneath the arch in my opinion. We descended under the bridge and passed through Fat Man’s Squeeze. We snapped a few pictures from under the arch before hiking down to the parking lot. The arch is an amazing testament to the power of erosion which carved out the rock formation over millions of years. It is a humbling and awe inspiring monument.

The hike down is about a mile and has some steep stone steps that make it harder to ascend than to descend. Alex quickly began to complain that he was hungry and that Nataliya had not bought enough snacks at the gift shop. I tried to distract Alex by pointing out intriguing rock formations and describing how erosion worked, but he was absorbed in self-pity. To make matters worse, Nataliya yelped in pain when a hornet stung her several times, and she had a nasty reaction. To my utter shock, Alex ignored his mother’s discomfort and continued to pester her for more candy even after she cried out in pain. Alex often speaks without thinking because he has ADHD and is unmedicated.

Nevertheless, I lost my temper and yelled at him. While I tried to comfort to Nataliya, Alex hurried down the trail ahead of us. After a brief pause, we started walking again, but quickly lost sight of Alex as he raced ahead. We eventually caught up with Alex when he sat down on a rock beside the trail not far from the parking lot. A sullen Alex continued to sulk during the car ride back to the cabin.

Before heading home, Nataliya bought tickets for a zipline tour, and the tickets were not cheap even though she received a discount since we stayed at the adjacent resort complex. I had considered joining them out of a desire to conquer my own fears, but the skylift ride had shown that discretion would probably be the better part of valor in this instance. Although the first segment of the zipline was not elevated too high above the ground and was relatively short, the last segment was 2,000 feet long and passed over a gorge more than 300 feet deep! Another rider in Nataliya’s group was too intimidated and decided to skip the last section. I definitely made the right choice! On the other hand, Alex claimed he was disappointed because it wasn’t scary enough. I wish I was as fearless as him!

Afterwards, Nataliya and Alex went home, and I returned to the cabin alone. It was a pretty eerie night, being alone in the cabin, even though I had neighbors nearby. I had previously intended to spend a week, or maybe a few long weekends, alone in a cabin for a “digital detox.” I remained largely off the grid this weekend, but it seems like I preferred to have company more than I expected.

I had planned to do at least a little hiking every day, so I had a lot of pent up demand. The wet weather had kept the three of us indoors for a large part of the weekend, so I wanted to see as much of the gorge as I could in a day. It turns out, you can visit quite a few natural attractions there in a short amount of time.